Healing and then...
I know it’s been a few months since I wrote anything in here but ever since Frank died my life has been one big blur.
But things are getting back on track now and that is a good thing. I just finished a huge estate sale with a large part of his things and now I just need to clean up the yard and get rid of the rest of the stuff. I am in the process of deciding to get a loan to buy a manufactured home to put on my place. I am worried about being able to make the payments from then on ($570 a month vs. the $333. I make now) but I would have a great place that would be warmer in the winter and safer all the way around. Plus this is the time for a loan while the rates are low and the banks are dying to loan money. I have already spoken to someone that said I could get a fixed rate of 3-4% on a 30 yr loan. I owe $26,000 on my place now- so I would go from that small amount to owing a lot-but the trade off is worth it, isn’t it?
My dream home has three bedrooms (one for my office) and a great master bath with a garden tub for me. My kids think I should buy a little place but I have been in a little place for 30 yrs and want some space!!! It’s not much different in cost for what I want.
I am seven classes away from graduating with my bachelor’s degree- so I will then have student loans to pay on also. My biggest fear is that if I have no work during the summers can I afford all these payments with just my SSD? Web work is slow but I will be able to apply as an online instructor after I graduate which is my goal. I want to be able to teach online as well as here when the hiring frost is thawed. I get really excited when I think about it- a new home with real walls and not paper thin ones. Real walls!! A real home with a floor that doesn’t bounce when the washer is in spin cycle. A real home with a real kitchen and best of all, a linen closet!! I have no linen closet now and it sucks. I just am a bit scared because I have to do this all by myself. I am sure my son will help as he can with moving things for me but otherwise- it’s scary!! A friend of mine just told me that she rented a storage unit for two months- got a trailer to live in and had it all done in two months time- and in winter!! So that gives me more hope. Of course she doesn’t have a crippled back but hey, if she can do it, so can I. She was a lot younger too when she did this (38 compared to my 54) but I know I can do it. I will do it!! If I can get the loan then I am good to go.
I am back at the college working in the ITC again, but this time we are doing everything ourselves in there. We get no help from the techs unless we beg for it and I told my boss forget that- I can install monitors, programs etc as well as they can. So that is what I have been doing. I switched out four 19: monitors for 22” widescreens (which I don’t like) and we installed our new robotic disc duplicator. It’s a piece of junk as far as I am concerned but oh well.
I have been really swamped with that and doing research online for other items also. We have CS4 installed on all of the computers in the college labs now but we have discovered a major problem in exporting videos from Premiere Pro CS4. You used to be able to just click on Export> movie and make it a raw AVI that you could import to Encore to make a menu or further work on it. I finally found the way to export it to Encore, but you have to jump through some hoops to export it as just an AVI file. None of this will make sense to those of you that don’t do video work but it will to those that do.
And yes, you Macfreaks, I know that final cut pro is sooo much better. Be we are stuck with pcs and so that is that. The worst part about this mess is that it is a common bug and everyone is hoping that CS 4.5 will be better. Well that is groovy but the college can’t just swap out $25,000.00 worth of software like that. So I had to research a work around and I found it-fortunately on the adobe website. It turns out it is an issue with upgrading from CS3. Many people in the forums said screw it and use PP CS3. I just may do that myself here at home. I have a video class coming up soon-I think this will be my 6th? Geesh..
Well it is a multimedia degree….
And now I get a call from my son who was starting to get back on track,,only to find out some chick lied to him to have sex with him and now she is crying rape and is only 15. Funny she was hanging around a bar all night long.
So of course his (cheating) gf kicked him out, told him SHE was pregnant and now he is trying to find a lawyer. Heh, with what money?
All I can do is slap myself on the forehead and ask why why why.....
He just turned 29. He has NO idea why he does what he does. Who do I ask then I asked him. Who do I ask WHY you don't think anymore- who is controlling your body and your brain? WHO????
Lord have mercy. That is all I can say...